Movie
‘Mortal Kombat Legends Snow Blind’: The ice age of the soul
Spoilers hide in snow too!
Led by King Kano, the Black Dragon gang goes around terrorizing the wastelands of an already-defeated Earthrealm, enough to garner the attention of a very-retired Kuai Liang and a new warrior on the scene, an overconfident bravo known as Kenshi Takahashi (Manny Jacinto).
The entire story is set in the wastelands, with simple farming towns and markets so ready to be intimidated and then outright slaughtered if they fail to obey King Kano’s oh so generous offer to join his Black Dragon gang. Led by three ringleaders right out of Mad Max territory – Kabal (Keith Silverstein), Kobra (Yuri Lowenthal) and Kira (Courtenay Taylor) – the Black Dragon mercenaries take great delight in their merciless takeover of town after town, until they finally suffer an ignominious defeat at the hands of one who simply won’t kneel, Kenshi himself. And nothing would do but to come back to wreak revenge on Kenshi, aided by a Mortal Kombat-style monster known as Tremor (Imari Williams), and a much-diminished Shang Tsung (Artt Butler), now reduced to King Kano’s pet sorcerer.
Meanwhile, after a montage of monotonous simplicity on the solo farm of Kuai Liang (Ron Yuan) and a robbery of his hard-earned vegetables by our rapacious trio, the market town he sells at is in utter fear of the Black Dragon’s return, and of course it’s all Kenshi’s fault. Kuai Liang still, still, hasn’t fought back at all, matter of fact he’s been reticent to the point of silence, even while enduring beatings and humiliations. But we know, those of us familiar with Mortal Kombat and the Mortal Kombat Legends movies especially, and we’re also reminded via Kuai Liang suffering nightmarish flashbacks, that Sub-Zero’s incredible ice powers can, and have, leveled entire cities and whole armies of enemies, so perhaps his reluctance to rain an ice age on his enemies is mildly understandable.
So Kenshi Takahashi is a bravo, the self-proclaimed strongest fighter in the world, and yes, just got his arrogant little booty put through the ringer by Tremor. One sound defeat and he’s ready to toss in the proverbial towel, only to be found by a terribly sympathetic Shang Tsung, who leads him to a hidden place with a Well of Souls (such names never bode well), to get the power back to defeat his enemies and reclaim his strongest fighter in the world title. Surprising absolutely no one, Shang Tsung betrays Kenshi afresh, uncaring at his being blinded by his ancestors spirits apparently, intent on only stealing enough power to defeat King Kano. Left shattered and sightless, armed only with a magical sword that allows him to kind-of see, Kenshi literally drags himself away, and collapses on the outskirts of a particular solo farm, held by a particularly reserved not-farmer.
Elsewhere, Shang Tsung is now a-brimming with soul power and planning to lay waste to those Black Dragon baddies and especially King Kano (David Wenham), ambitious to the point of lunacy, borne on dreams of former glory. Thus commences a very Mortal Kombat style fight, where King Kano subjects Shang Tsung to a ranting diatribe about having done all this before and his lack of imagination will lead to his inevitable defeat, yet again. Despite the serious damage Kano does take he still manages to win, and we begin to wonder how the hell that actually happened, and what Kano meant by going through this nonsense, yet again.
Back on the farm, a pathetic Kenshi and a reluctant Kui Liang engage in some verbal soul-baring and come to the conclusion that even a little training would do Kenshi some good, it can’t harm him any more than he already is, right? Other than the humiliation of chasing farm chickens, of course. But while they romp a training montage that I’m guessing takes at least a few weeks, Black Dragon and King Kano are still out there, further consolidating his Kingdom through wholesale slaughter. And after the market town Kui Liang frequents is destroyed, he and his unbowed protégé decide to take the fight to Kano and his goons, over there in the unimaginatively-named K-Town, the seat of his Kingdom.
Despite being perfectly capable of laying waste to K-Town in a rather biblical fashion, Kui Liang decides to call in the marker he has with another beloved and infamous Mortal Kombat character, one who’s been languishing in a hellish afterlife since the events of the former Mortal Kombat Legends movie Scorpion’s Revenge, he was once called Hanzo but has since dubbed himself Scorpion (Patrick Seitz). And between the two of them, a newly-determined Kenshi and his soul-blade Sento, and other small if loyal extras who try to help, it’s time for a final Mortal Kombat with King Kano!
And that’s actually literally the whole problem, how this whole defeated Earthrealm business began in the first place, with time. Not the erosion of casual neglect and cheerful genocide that the Mortal Kombat Emperors and other villains are famous for, no, this is a much more simple and even idiotic explanation, that makes perfect sense when you think about it, given that the character Kano is far from a genius, wizard, or even the finest warrior in Mortal Kombat. (Fight me on it; he’s not.)
What happens in the final after all that Kombat, given Kenshi’s new mission and resolve, and the promises Kui Liang made to Hanzo and to himself, is a very Mortal Kombat style ending. Which is to say, sort-of-kind-of-not-really resolved, and we know we’ll see our beloved Kombatants in another adventure, likely featuring at least one spine-ripping moment!
Intensely violent, horrifically gross but really if you don’t already know the level of gore in Mortal Kombat from the beloved video games still on-going what are you even doing here, Snow Blind also has tons of courage and morals, valor from unexpected sources, and an underlying message of faith in oneself that anyone can appreciate.
Mortal Kombat Legends: Snow Blind comes out from Warner Bros Home Entertainment digital retailers on Oct. 9th, and out on Blu-ray Disc and 4K Ultra on Oct. 11th 2022!
Movie
Holiday Movie Review: Violent Night
Violent Night (2022), starring David Harbour as a rugged, action hero Santa, delivers a wildly entertaining twist on holiday films. Combining dark humor, brutal action, and unexpected heart, the movie follows Santa as he defends a family held hostage on Christmas Eve. Harbor shines as a jaded yet surprisingly endearing Santa, bringing grit and charm to the role. The film’s blend of holiday magic and high-octane violence is reminiscent of Die Hard but with a festive twist.
Director Tommy Wirkola balances the chaotic fight scenes with moments of redemption and holiday spirit, creating a surprisingly satisfying narrative. While the film isn’t for traditionalists (its R-rating is well-earned), it’s perfect for fans of unconventional holiday fare.
Rating: 8/10: A bold, bloody, and refreshingly unique holiday film that’s destined to become a cult classic.
Movie
The Grinch vs. The Grinch: Jim Carrey vs. Benedict Cumberbatch – Who Played the Better Green Grump?
Dr. Seuss’s beloved character, the Grinch, has been brought to life in two iconic adaptations: Ron Howard’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000), starring Jim Carrey, and Illumination’s The Grinch (2018), featuring the voice of Benedict Cumberbatch. While both films capture the essence of the Grinch’s transformation, their execution, tone, and performances make for an interesting comparison.
Jim Carrey’s Grinch (2000)
Ron Howard’s live-action adaptation is a bold, larger-than-life take on the classic tale. Jim Carrey’s portrayal is a masterclass in physical comedy and eccentricity. His Grinch is chaotic, sarcastic, and hilariously over-the-top, with Carrey’s boundless energy infusing the character with a manic charm that makes every scene memorable.
This version delves into the Grinch’s backstory, giving him a tragic childhood that explains his hatred for Whoville and Christmas. While this added depth works for some, others felt it detracted from the simplicity of the original story. The film’s whimsical production design and Danny Elfman’s score perfectly complement Carrey’s performance, but the humor occasionally skews more adult, which may alienate younger viewers.
Illumination’s The Grinch opts for a gentler, more family-friendly approach. Benedict Cumberbatch’s voice work offers a softer, more subdued interpretation of the character. This Grinch is more relatable and less cruel, making his eventual redemption feel heartwarming but less impactful.
Benedict Cumberbatch’s Grinch (2018)
The animation is visually stunning, capturing the colorful charm of Dr. Seuss’s world. The narrative sticks closer to the original book, with a few modern twists (like a subplot involving Cindy Lou Who’s quest to help her overworked single mom). Pharrell Williams’s narration and playful soundtrack give the film a contemporary vibe that resonates with children and families. However, Cumberbatch’s Grinch lacks the wild unpredictability that made Carrey’s performance unforgettable.
While both films have their merits, Jim Carrey’s Grinch stands out as the more iconic portrayal. Carrey’s physicality, comedic timing, and ability to humanize the character elevate the 2000 film, making it a definitive version for many fans. Benedict Cumberbatch’s Grinch, while charming and visually delightful, feels safer and less memorable in comparison.
Winner: Jim Carrey For its sheer energy, humor, and enduring impact, How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) with Jim Carrey remains the ultimate Grinch experience.
Movie
Y2K: Get up and Break Stuff!
A pair of loser best pals decide to crash the cool kid’s end-of-the-year bash, unaware that the whole computer virus Y2K craze is about to become horrifyingly real!
So Eli (Jaeden Martell) and Danny (Julian Dennison), the self-proclaimed “Sticky boys for life!”, basically have only each other. Typical high school boys, talk rather consistently about make-outs and sex and even trade a trophy Durex condom between them as their token “king of the make-outs moment” icon. They troll the local VHS video store and the stoner proprietor Garrett (director Kyle Mooney) for purported wisdom, endure bullying from the likes of CJ (Daniel Zolghadri) and Farkas (Eduardo Franco) and Soccer Chris (The Kid Laroi), and sadly many others, and inevitably Eli has happy hormone-laced dreams of being with closeted nerd and final girl Laura (Rachel Zegler). Eli’s parents Robin (Alicia Silverstone) and Howard (Tim Heidecker) are living their bygone days of being cool, fascinated by their still-new here in 1999 cellphones and dismissing concerns of this “Y2K nonsense”, while Danny’s mom Cheryl (Maureen Sebastian) really is super cool and breathlessly includes Danny in her Tae Bo kickboxing lessons.
Even after Laura and her crew of jock and popular kids decide to flat use Eli and Danny as cover for their oh-so-daring daylight robbery of a local convenience store’s liquor, our Sticky Boys are still compelled to go crash the last party of the year. Of course, Danny wants it far more than Eli, but still, hearing that Laura and her community college boyfriend Jonas (Mason Gooding) broke up and fortified with pilfered alcohol and derring-do, the Sticky Boys throw on their version of party clothes and hop aboard a bike, like a for-real lame-ass ten-speed bicycle or whatever, and give it a go!
It should come as absolutely no surprise that Danny turns out to be the way more social of our Sticky Boys, and while he means well, telling the story of how Eli came to be known as “piss-mouth” loudly at a high school party probably wasn’t the best idea. Seeing Danny finally get some make-outs as the clocks loudly begin counting down the new year is enough for Eli, but as he sullenly prepares to leave, things begin to take a massively unexpected turn!
Here in 2024 there are far too many things we rely on that happen to have computer chips or some kind of electronic equivalent in them, and while 1999 might have been less so, the Y2K virus that began small and maybe cute starts sucking up every last bit of electronica it can find and quickly goes murder-massacre on the kids in true Gremlins 2-style mayhem! Death by flung CDs, a la the bartender in Hellraiser III, if anybody besides me remembers that! Death by castrating drinks blender, ooooh nooo! The deaths just get more creative and insane, and Eli and a few fortunate survivors hoof it off to find someplace where the deadly Y2K virus can’t get at them!
The movie is full of nostalgia for the 90s music, particularly for the Limp Bizkit megahits that were everywhere then, which makes sense since Fred Durst himself has a giant cameo in the movie. The reveal of the conglomerated computer bad guy is very much like the amazing-for-the-time computer graphics of The Lawnmower Man, which hey, came out in 1992 too! And perhaps best of all, the showing of Y2K in my theater was hosted by the legendary Tony Hawke y’all. Full of remember-when tunes, fun practical-effects killer gags, and a huge “Hey, I did that too!”-style vibe, Y2K should be your new ring in the Happy New Year movie comedy, in theaters now!