SPOILERS AHEAD! In the beginning, we’re immediately treated to a glorious golden shot of the Box, also known as Lemarchand’s Puzzle Box, and even more fun, the Lamentation Configuration, being handled by Pinhead himself as he talks with the Auditor about the need for modernizing their works on humankind. Right after that, we’re whisked off to a man who clearly has issues, being invited by a mysterious and commiserating benefactor to a place of understanding and reward; a clear demonstration of the films platform and intentions.
Inside this dead house, the Auditor (Gary J. Tunicliffe) makes a record of the sinners, well, sins, gives them to the Assessor (John Gulager) who, yes, literally eats the pages salted with the tears of children, and then freaking regurgitates the mass to the three naked ladies who comprise the psychic Jury, to render their final judgment on said sinner. All of this is done with complacent malice, so much blood and gore and thick drooling mucus, the wet slap and crunch of prehensile chains we all recall from the original films. Like discovering the Box lost in your attic next to the corpse of a dead rat who tried to pry it open, there is no escaping the honest desires of your own heart, even when it leads to your downfall.
Before we can go any further, it has to be said that these new characters introduced – the Auditor and his antiquated typewriter, the Assessor and his vomit, the Jury ladies and their Bathory bath, even the Butcher (Joel Decker) and the Surgeon (Jillyan Blundell) – are not Cenobites or even part of the Order of the Gash, to which Pinhead belongs and rules with a bloody fist. Rather, these guys and fetish dolls are known as the Stygian Inquisition, and are another Order of Hell, just like the Gash. Sadly, none of this is mentioned in the film, so mistaking every last cut-up figurine for yet another Cenobite is perfectly understandable.
Also making a surprise appearance, is an actual honest-to-whomever Angel, known as Jophiel (Helena Grace Donald). She appears in white leathers and blinding bright light, to actually trade insults and orders with the master of pain himself, Pinhead, for the delicate matter of the disposition of a soul. Another bold risk for director Tunicliffe, for never before in the entire Hellraiser film mythology, have Angels been introduced before. Demons aplenty everywhere, sure, but never actual Angels.
But we’re getting ahead of ourselves! A dog-loving socialite named Crystal Lanning (Grace Montie) has been rather brutally killed, yet another in a string of ritualistic murders from the serial killer who calls himself the Preceptor. This self-proclaimed purifier has been performing ‘Seven’-style sin cleansing murders and the cop duo of the Carter brothers Sean (Damon Carney) and David (Randy Wayne), plus an unwanted tagalong in the form of Detective Christine Egerton (Alexandra Harris), have been assigned to the case.
The detective investigation into these ritual murders is kind of lame, plays out very similar to other direct-to-video Hellraiser sequels I could name, and is basically a foil to get one of the Carter brothers to that dead house where the Auditor does his nasty job. Which is fine, I guess, but it was rather superfluous and uninspired for this kind of plot hole to be used. Then again, we didn’t necessarily come to the dead house where Pinhead and the Auditor and his cohorts judge sinners for silly things like plot.
Or did we? The plot of the Preceptor and his works here on Earth aside, there is an amazing dynamic that goes on inside the dead house, not between the Preceptor or the Stygian Inquisition, no, it’s between Pinhead and Jophiel, over which side gets the Preceptors soul. I’m reminded of the reality of Angels from films like ‘Prophecy’, who carefully explain that dealing with actual Angels, those psycho m-f-ers who are the literal embodiment of Gods will here on Earth, is a much more terrifying prospect than most people think. So how did Jophiel get to the dead house, where she attempts to set herself against Pinhead in the matter of the disposition of the Preceptor’s soul?
Imagine, Angels acting on the orders of the side they represent, sent to the dead house to claim the Preceptors soul before it can be sent to the Orders of Hell, because despite everything he’s done to other humans, the purported “Good Side” thinks his works need to continue. Gives potential to see Pinhead, the Cenobites, the Stygian Inquisition and all the Orders of Hell in an entirely new way, not being the only bad guys in the room anymore.
The visual tone of the movie is done quite well, harkening back to the original two Clive Barker-led Hellraiser films, but more washed out and crumbling, like the nightmare sun-faded world of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie. Even the never-ending blood and gore isn’t as stark-staring as the original films, but rather deepened and faded at the same time, indicating the march of time and a clear aversion to anything clean.
All the special effects and makeup tricks are used to a clear purpose in Judgment, and what CGI there is, is barely noticeable as an afterthought (which I prefer, ‘cuz practical effects rule). The mythology of the Box, of the Order of the Gash and Pinhead and his Cenobites, have all been pretty well established already, so writing a story already in the set-world and taking a seriously different turn with it was very likely a good choice on the directors part.
Though the storylines do get a little muddled and there wasn’t enough of the cop parts to keep me interested in that, the dead house and the Stygian Inquisition is fascinating, and the new dynamic of Pinhead versus other Orders and even Angels is amazing. And yes, I recognized Heather Langencamp in her tiny role as the landlady of an apartment the Carter boys check; doesn’t make much never-mind to me.
Finally, we will address the hook-headed elephant in the room, that is, the newest actor Paul T. Taylor taking the iconic role of Pinhead. Certainly it’s a vast improvement over the previous actor to play him, Stephen Smith Collins, but then that poor guy trying to play Pinhead when faced with that atrocity of a Hellraiser knockoff never stood a chance anyways.
Conversely, Taylor brings back a sense of majesty back to the character of Pinhead, a steadfast calmness that reminds me of the way Barker described the Hell Priest in his last Hellraiser novel, The Scarlet Gospels, and I am all for that. The iconic makeup of the nails in the head is more or less the same, but the hollows in Taylors eye-sockets and the different and updated look of his vestments, plus a somber and yet macabre voice all his own, make for a pleasing new version of Pinhead all around.
Remember folks, that in Hell those iconic nails in the head is actually a badge of office, as in leader of the Order of the Gash, that sort of thing, so literally anyone can wear them and be known as Pinhead. For you Cenobite trivia buffs out there, at one point the pins were even worn by Kirsty Cotton herself, in the Hellraiser comic books from BOOM! Studios. Doug Bradley did make the iconic original version of Pinhead his own for many long years and increasingly-bad movies, but anyone can become the avatar of Pinhead in Barker’s world, and somehow Paul T. Taylor managed it damn nicely.
One can easily see why Tunnecliffe named his magnum opus Hellraiser Judgment, but to truly call yourself a fan of the world, see the movie and judge for yourself. I’m willing to wager you die-hard Cenobite fans out there won’t be disappointed!
A gang of misfit kidnappers find their tiny target far more bloodthirsty than they bargained for!
So, unfortunately, the trailers gave it away and let’s be real that’s why most of us are here, the knowledge that the kidnap victim Abigail (Alisha Weir), codenamed by the would-be kidnappers appropriately as ‘tiny dancer’, is in fact, a vampire. Not a spoiler, point of fact, one of the film’s actual great selling points. And the reactions from the misfit club when faced with a real actual f*cking vampire, range hilariously from the blunt “no such thing as vampires” all the way to, “Are we talking True Blood or Twilight rules or what?” all while covered in buckets and buckets of blood.
Anyway, the gang manages to subdue and abscond with the aforementioned Abigail, in a pre-prepared duffle bag, like you do, and converge to a new location, a house oddly similar to the one she was just taken from. Welcomed and given codenames by a man who introduces himself as Lambert (Giancarlo Esposito), our misfit club is told to simply hold down the fort in this strange old house with the girl chained up in a room and one person to attend her, for twenty-four hours, and they’ll all get paid.
As inevitable as the tides, the dopey druggie Dean (Angus Cloud) is the first to die, and we’re going to give that death-style points for inspiring terror right off the bat. The very controlling Frank (Dan Stevens, holy crap yes that is the guy from FXs Legion) is also of course the most suspicious – of everyone around him, sure, but also he himself is totes sus. We don’t learn terribly much about the musclebound tank who gets dubbed Peter (Kevin Durand), he’s your pretty typical little-brains-heart-of-gold muscle-for-hire any proper gang needs, right down to the bottle problem. Sammy (Kathryn Newton), well, even for being a purported hacker-type, she has, like, reality issues. Rickles (William Catlett), he’s arguably the most dangerous among them, ex-military and yet somehow here and involved in kidnapping for a few mills. Joey (Melissa Barrera) is our Final Girl, and though she has the inevitable problems in her recent past, she seems more capable of doing the hard thing and still somehow empathizing at the end of the day. Must be her burning desire to get back with her son.
The fit hits the shan pretty quickly, and Abigail morphs from tiny dancer to tiny monster, though honestly, the way Abigail spoke the entire time in the film, if the ‘nappers had been paying close enough attention, would have been a solid clue. The performance from Alisha Weir as Abigail is incredible, as she literally dances a fine line between comedy, tragedy, and outright monstrosity. With a face full of makeup and the force of a tiny tornado to back it up, Weir brings to mind the great performances of the vampires in 30 Days of Night who saw the practicality in the need to trap their food, but also, play with it a bit first before feasting! Anything else would give away the absolute fun time that is Abigail, so you should go see it, out in theaters now!
Fans of the beloved medical comedy series Scrubs were recently treated to a thrilling surprise when John C. McGinley, who portrayed the iconic Dr. Perry Cox, dropped a photo on Twitter hinting at a potential reunion project. The image, showing McGinley alongside his former co-stars, sparked a wave of excitement and speculation among fans who have been longing for more adventures with the beloved Sacred Heart Hospital staff.
While details about the reunion project are still scarce, the mere possibility of seeing the gang back together again has sent waves of nostalgia through fans who fondly remember the show’s original run from 2001 to 2010. Scrubs was not just a sitcom; it was a heartfelt exploration of friendship, love, and the chaotic world of medicine, all wrapped up in a quirky and often hilarious package.
At the heart of the show was the bromance between JD (played by Zach Braff) and Turk (played by Donald Faison), whose antics and deep bond served as the emotional anchor for the series. Their dynamic, along with the sage wisdom (and relentless sarcasm) of Dr. Cox, provided viewers with memorable moments that have stood the test of time.
As we eagerly await more news about the Scrubs reunion project, one thing is for sure: it’s time to dust off those old DVDs, rewatch our favorite episodes, and get ready to welcome back our favorite gang of doctors, nurses, and janitors for what promises to be a memorable reunion.
But Scrubs was more than just its main characters. The supporting cast, including the eccentric Janitor (played by Neil Flynn), the neurotic Elliot (played by Sarah Chalke), and the wise-cracking nurse Carla (played by Judy Reyes), each brought their own unique flavor to the show, creating a rich tapestry of characters that fans grew to love.
While the photo shared by McGinley has fueled speculation about what the reunion project might entail, whether it’s a one-off special, a new season, or something else entirely, one thing is certain: fans are eagerly awaiting any opportunity to dive back into the world of Sacred Heart Hospital.
In an age where reboots and revivals are commonplace, Scrubs stands out as a series that has the potential to recapture the magic that made it a fan favorite in the first place. With its blend of humor, heart, and unforgettable characters, a reunion project has the opportunity to not only satisfy longtime fans but also introduce a new generation to the joys of life at Sacred Heart.
The story of the rise of Coriolanus Snow, from teenage Capital City pawn to rising Dictator of the Hunger Games!
Apparently no one out here in post-apocalyptic Panem has heard of irony and so they name their children things like Coriolanus (Tom Blyth), Tigress, and further off in Hunger Games lore, after swamp plants like Katniss. Corio’s father was a legendary general and that is pretty much the only reason young Snow and his meager family of grandmother called Grandma’am (Fionnula Flanagan) and sister Tigress (Hunter Schafer) are tolerated here in the Capital City at all.
Most of the snotty youngsters at the academy won’t let Snow forget how far his family has fallen, but he’s generally not concerned with them. What is concerning is the strong disapproval of the drugged-up Dean Casca Highbottom (Peter Dinklage) and the creepy attention of Dr. Volumnia Gaul (Viola Davis) as she lurks in the classroom sniffing out talent. The Dean feels very strongly the annual Hunger Games should end, while Gaul is violently adamant that not only do the Games continue, but that they get as much more attention as possible. And young Snow is stuck in the middle, when the yearly prize money normally awarded to the academy student with the best grades gets switched out for, you guessed it, the student that can make this years’ Hunger Games as entertaining as possible.
Whilst the students are protesting this sudden change, the annual Reaping is about to commence, and big shock and surprise, Corio’s candidate from District 12 Lucy Grey Baird (Rachel Zegler) is chosen as a Tribute. This is where the film begins to really take off on musical wings, for as it turns out, Lucy Grey can sing. Boy, can that gal sing! She can sing, she can play guitar, she can work a crowd, she can calm things down, she can fire ‘em up too! And Corio, being no dummy himself, instantly plots ways to use his Tributes amazing voice to draw attention to her, and admittedly his own, plight!
Though far too many people sneer at the idea, Corio takes his position as Mentor to his Tribute seriously enough to sneak onto the tram taking the Tributes to their habitat, which turns out to be a completely appropriate moniker, as this year the Tributes are held before the Hunger Games in a large zoo habitat so the weatherman ‘Lucky’ Flickerman (Jason Schwartzman), host of this years games, can MC the hell out of everything up close and personal!
What happens at this years Hunger Games and the subsequent consequences to both Corio and Lucy Grey is actually only half the story, and the movie. Coriolanus has always had to be opportunistic, but learning to be absolutely ruthless when necessary under the tutelage of Dr. Gaul, who basically thinks it’s always best to be merciless, is an eye-opening education indeed. Even after they’ve both been consigned to military service and his friend Sejanus Plinth (Josh Andres Rivera) decides to finally rebel, Corio and Sejanus continue to deceive each other and themselves, to accomplish their separate goals. Not even the love Corio swears he feels for Lucy Grey can save him, or them, from the adamant absolute necessity of the Hunger Games continuing. And after all that’s happened, Coriolanus Snow has gotten a terrific education in the best way to be the absolutely ruthless next Hunger Games advocate, and oh yeah, President of Panem.
The movie does itself no favors by trying to stuff not one but two major storylines and a bunch of side storylines sadly introduced and then ignored, into the film. It would have been entirely possible to turn Ballads of Songbirds and Snakes into two different movies, separated between feathers and scales if you like, and do justice to the major storylines in both. Blyth gives a fine performance as a young Coriolanus Snow, but the fact that President Snow is played by Donald Sutherland in all three of the Hunger Games films means Blyth has incredibly large shoes to fill. Rachel Zegler as Lucy Grey is absolute fire, and yes the actress did sing the songs in the film herself, including the Hunger Games franchise epic song, ‘The Hanging Tree’. Every time Lucy Grey opens her mouth and sheer soul-searing music comes out, it provides a distinct counterpoint to the soul-crushing ambition of Coriolanus Snow and further demonstrates the District and Caste separation Hunger Games is known for. And if, by the end of the film, Coriolanus Snow has come to agree that the Hunger Games must continue but perhaps under his own auspices, he has no one but himself to blame when another younger but still rebellious female blows it all up in his face!
Choose rebellion or conformity for yourself in The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes!
‘Abigail’: Bite Me Harder Tiny Dancer
Scrubs Reunion: The Band Gets Back Together
‘The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes’: Rebellion with a cause
Wondercon 2024 presents The Spiderwick Chronicles
WonderCon 2024:Day Three
WonderCon 2024:Day One
Scrubs Reunion: The Band Gets Back Together
‘Abigail’: Bite Me Harder Tiny Dancer
WonderCon 2024:Day Three
Wondercon 2024 presents The Spiderwick Chronicles
Thatsmye Interviews: Les Weiler on Henchin’: the Series
Disney Legend Andreas Deja’s Hand-Drawn animated short MUSHKA premiere
Resetting Mortal Kombat A New Beginning with Mortal Kombat 1
William Shatner: You Can Call Me Bill
The Les Files With John C McGinley
