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Paramount+ presents ‘Halo The Series’: That’s MY ring!

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Cortana contains spoilers!

Based on the wildly popular video games of the same name originally from Bungie and now from 343 Industries, Halo the TV series features a 26th-century war setting, mainly between the humans of the United Nations Space Command, and the Covenant, a conglomerate of advanced alien races determined to eradicate humanity.

It’s hard to accurately describe just how long we, the fans, waited for the TV version of Halo to come out and do our beloved FPS justice. The storylines of the Halo video games have always been epic and ground-breaking for whatever time they were released, perhaps especially for the much-beloved character of Master Chief John-117, and that’s not even going into the grand scale of the music that rocketed Halo into mega-stardom – even if you don’t play the video games, there are few geeks and nerds alive today who don’t recognize the epic strains of the male choir and orchestra that is another staple of Halo fandom. So this attempt to make Halo work on the small screen has a lot to live up to, from far before filming even started. Strap on your helmet, make sure Cortana’s jacked in, as we dive deep into the war-torn worlds of Halo!

As we join the show already in progress, the world as we know it is effectively a sh*t-show. The Covenant, a cabal of non-humanoid alien races, have been sending wave after wave of killer soldiers to hunt down and destroy the infidel humans, but also, to hunt for powerful ancient artifacts that the Covenant believe to be useful super-weapons. Humanity has already spread far beyond Earth into the stars, though military and thus effectively most of humanity, is still supervised by the United Nations Space Command, or UNSC. And the UNSC has their own version of shock-and-awe elite troops, those killer death commandos who’ve had those minor annoyances like emotions and attachments chemically blocked off, universally known and absolutely feared by a great many, called Spartans.

Leading the front-runner Spartan troop called Silver Team, is of course Master Chief Petty Officer John-117 (Pablo Schreiber). A towering presence that normally doesn’t remove his helmet at all, Master Chief is a genetically engineered soldier who leaves death in his wake pretty much everywhere he goes – Covenant or human alike. The Spartan soldiers as a whole aren’t known for things like morals and mercy, making them rather hated by the fringe human colonies getting relentlessly attacked by Covenant, and their survivors mowed down by Spartans in the dust-up. And this is exactly where our story begins, on the Insurrectionist planet of Madrigal, far off in the outer reaches …

Madrigal has, far as I can see, very little going for the planet as a whole, other than, hey, the good possibility that some of the Forerunner artifacts the Covenant are hunting for are here, on the planet. Which leads to the burgeoning rebellion under Jin Ha (Jeong-hwan Kong) being squashed like an insect under a combat boot as Covenant drop ships lay waste to the planet, intent on their slaughter as they hunt for the artifacts. His daughter Kwan Ha (Yerin Ha) watches in horror as, after the first wave of Covenant slaughter makes way for the next onslaught, the Spartan Silver Team falls like Death from the skies and lays waste to literally everyone and everything in their paths. The whole concept of pyrrhic victory is entirely lost on the UNSC and their killer pet Spartans, and this happens to be more or less why the Spartans are particularly feared and hated, especially by their human brethren.

This separate perspective and the massacre of the Insurrectionists on Madrigal, the apathy and lack of empathy from the UNSC, even the battle fatigue of what’s left of her own family, all cause Kwan Ha great grief and fury. Kwan Ha endures the refugee planet-hopping lifestyle for all of two seconds before deciding to turn her rage into vengeance, all alone if necessary, but at times both aided and hindered by an old associate of Master Chief’s, Soren-066 (Bokeem Woodbine).

Back at UNSC HQ, Dr. Catherine Halsey (Natascha McElhone), the genius scientist creator of the Spartan-II Project soldier program, has been trying to puzzle out the human factor of her precious Spartans entirely. The Covenant have been humanity’s greatest threat for the longest time and Halsey has clear goals – get to the artifacts made by the Forerunners, locate this mysterious Halo, and lay claim to whatever they are in the name of humans, all first before anyone or anything else can. Master Chief in particular is Halsey’s greatest personal achievement, her baby that she effectively rebirthed as a hatchling of her own design, and molded into her own needs as John grew. However, a genetically engineered mutated soldier as a fully grown adult still comes with pesky problems like free will involved, and so Halsey created the super-secret super-smart AI construct modeled after her own brain, known as Cortana.

The strange, strained, and ultimately rewarding relationship between Master Chief and Cortana is well-documented in the video games. Given that Halsey originally created Cortana via an entirely illegal (and potentially immoral) process and what her ultimate goal is – to use the AI with an attitude to control John-117 and ultimately replace his brains/free will entirely – it should be no surprise that Master Chief wants zero to do with Cortana initially. But despite Halsey being the template for Cortana, the blue lady badass has real empathy for Master Chief and the human still inside the Spartan, and she almost immediately begins to resist the controlling orders of Halsey as soon as she’s implanted into John-117. For the TV show, the makers made the brilliant choice to keep the same voice actor for Cortana, who’s been doing her voice for all the Halo video games since Halo: Combat Evolved, Jen Taylor.

Moving on to the Covenant and their Hierarchy, a lone misanthropic human, stolen and raised as a “Blessed One” for her mystical connection to the Forerunner artifacts and the mysterious Halo, Makee (Charlie Murphy) has been primed with her hatred for humanity and is about to be sent in undercover as it were, to ferret out whatever information the UNSC has and use it to secure the weapons for the Covenant first! This again raises some very interesting questions of nature vs. nurture, and while I say that human nature certainly will out in many instances, this isn’t always a good thing – humans often being like many-faceted gems, each capable of mass destruction and bloodshed, or conversely love and sincere empathy, and all points in-between.

The show deals with all sorts of heavy concepts – mass genocide, destruction of free will, humanity vs. everyone-else, the improper use of a military force by a governing body, child slavery (I’m not kidding either, prepare yourself for some hard scenes involving this), what happens when a genius scientific mind is allowed to run unchecked and turns frankly evil – and does it all with style, grace, and an unflinching eye for honesty, even when the truth is terribly brutal. The CGI usage for the Covenant Elders, the massive Covenant and Flood combat scenes and the Covenant home planets, are done strikingly well and look, to my jaded eye, to be quite believable.

For the legend of the video games brought to stunning, epic life, catch the mystery of Master Chief’s past and how it connects to his combative present, available from Paramount+ now is Halo The Series!

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‘Abigail’: Bite Me Harder Tiny Dancer

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A gang of misfit kidnappers find their tiny target far more bloodthirsty than they bargained for! 

So, unfortunately, the trailers gave it away and let’s be real that’s why most of us are here, the knowledge that the kidnap victim Abigail (Alisha Weir), codenamed by the would-be kidnappers appropriately as ‘tiny dancer’, is in fact, a vampire. Not a spoiler, point of fact, one of the film’s actual great selling points. And the reactions from the misfit club when faced with a real actual f*cking vampire, range hilariously from the blunt “no such thing as vampires” all the way to, “Are we talking True Blood or Twilight rules or what?” all while covered in buckets and buckets of blood. 

Anyway, the gang manages to subdue and abscond with the aforementioned Abigail, in a pre-prepared duffle bag, like you do, and converge to a new location, a house oddly similar to the one she was just taken from. Welcomed and given codenames by a man who introduces himself as Lambert (Giancarlo Esposito), our misfit club is told to simply hold down the fort in this strange old house with the girl chained up in a room and one person to attend her, for twenty-four hours, and they’ll all get paid. 

As inevitable as the tides, the dopey druggie Dean (Angus Cloud) is the first to die, and we’re going to give that death-style points for inspiring terror right off the bat. The very controlling Frank (Dan Stevens, holy crap yes that is the guy from FXs Legion) is also of course the most suspicious – of everyone around him, sure, but also he himself is totes sus. We don’t learn terribly much about the musclebound tank who gets dubbed Peter (Kevin Durand), he’s your pretty typical little-brains-heart-of-gold muscle-for-hire any proper gang needs, right down to the bottle problem. Sammy (Kathryn Newton), well, even for being a purported hacker-type, she has, like, reality issues. Rickles (William Catlett), he’s arguably the most dangerous among them, ex-military and yet somehow here and involved in kidnapping for a few mills. Joey (Melissa Barrera) is our Final Girl, and though she has the inevitable problems in her recent past, she seems more capable of doing the hard thing and still somehow empathizing at the end of the day. Must be her burning desire to get back with her son. 

The fit hits the shan pretty quickly, and Abigail morphs from tiny dancer to tiny monster, though honestly, the way Abigail spoke the entire time in the film, if the ‘nappers had been paying close enough attention, would have been a solid clue. The performance from Alisha Weir as Abigail is incredible, as she literally dances a fine line between comedy, tragedy, and outright monstrosity. With a face full of makeup and the force of a tiny tornado to back it up, Weir brings to mind the great performances of the vampires in 30 Days of Night who saw the practicality in the need to trap their food, but also, play with it a bit first before feasting! Anything else would give away the absolute fun time that is Abigail, so you should go see it, out in theaters now!

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Scrubs Reunion: The Band Gets Back Together

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Fans of the beloved medical comedy series Scrubs were recently treated to a thrilling surprise when John C. McGinley, who portrayed the iconic Dr. Perry Cox, dropped a photo on Twitter hinting at a potential reunion project. The image, showing McGinley alongside his former co-stars, sparked a wave of excitement and speculation among fans who have been longing for more adventures with the beloved Sacred Heart Hospital staff.

While details about the reunion project are still scarce, the mere possibility of seeing the gang back together again has sent waves of nostalgia through fans who fondly remember the show’s original run from 2001 to 2010. Scrubs was not just a sitcom; it was a heartfelt exploration of friendship, love, and the chaotic world of medicine, all wrapped up in a quirky and often hilarious package.

At the heart of the show was the bromance between JD (played by Zach Braff) and Turk (played by Donald Faison), whose antics and deep bond served as the emotional anchor for the series. Their dynamic, along with the sage wisdom (and relentless sarcasm) of Dr. Cox, provided viewers with memorable moments that have stood the test of time.

As we eagerly await more news about the Scrubs reunion project, one thing is for sure: it’s time to dust off those old DVDs, rewatch our favorite episodes, and get ready to welcome back our favorite gang of doctors, nurses, and janitors for what promises to be a memorable reunion.

But Scrubs was more than just its main characters. The supporting cast, including the eccentric Janitor (played by Neil Flynn), the neurotic Elliot (played by Sarah Chalke), and the wise-cracking nurse Carla (played by Judy Reyes), each brought their own unique flavor to the show, creating a rich tapestry of characters that fans grew to love.

While the photo shared by McGinley has fueled speculation about what the reunion project might entail, whether it’s a one-off special, a new season, or something else entirely, one thing is certain: fans are eagerly awaiting any opportunity to dive back into the world of Sacred Heart Hospital.

In an age where reboots and revivals are commonplace, Scrubs stands out as a series that has the potential to recapture the magic that made it a fan favorite in the first place. With its blend of humor, heart, and unforgettable characters, a reunion project has the opportunity to not only satisfy longtime fans but also introduce a new generation to the joys of life at Sacred Heart.

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‘The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes’: Rebellion with a cause

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The story of the rise of Coriolanus Snow, from teenage Capital City pawn to rising Dictator of the Hunger Games! 

Apparently no one out here in post-apocalyptic Panem has heard of irony and so they name their children things like Coriolanus (Tom Blyth), Tigress, and further off in Hunger Games lore, after swamp plants like Katniss. Corio’s father was a legendary general and that is pretty much the only reason young Snow and his meager family of grandmother called Grandma’am (Fionnula Flanagan) and sister Tigress (Hunter Schafer) are tolerated here in the Capital City at all. 

Most of the snotty youngsters at the academy won’t let Snow forget how far his family has fallen, but he’s generally not concerned with them. What is concerning is the strong disapproval of the drugged-up Dean Casca Highbottom (Peter Dinklage) and the creepy attention of Dr. Volumnia Gaul (Viola Davis) as she lurks in the classroom sniffing out talent. The Dean feels very strongly the annual Hunger Games should end, while Gaul is violently adamant that not only do the Games continue, but that they get as much more attention as possible. And young Snow is stuck in the middle, when the yearly prize money normally awarded to the academy student with the best grades gets switched out for, you guessed it, the student that can make this years’ Hunger Games as entertaining as possible. 

Whilst the students are protesting this sudden change, the annual Reaping is about to commence, and big shock and surprise, Corio’s candidate from District 12 Lucy Grey Baird (Rachel Zegler) is chosen as a Tribute. This is where the film begins to really take off on musical wings, for as it turns out, Lucy Grey can sing. Boy, can that gal sing! She can sing, she can play guitar, she can work a crowd, she can calm things down, she can fire ‘em up too! And Corio, being no dummy himself, instantly plots ways to use his Tributes amazing voice to draw attention to her, and admittedly his own, plight! 

Though far too many people sneer at the idea, Corio takes his position as Mentor to his Tribute seriously enough to sneak onto the tram taking the Tributes to their habitat, which turns out to be a completely appropriate moniker, as this year the Tributes are held before the Hunger Games in a large zoo habitat so the weatherman ‘Lucky’ Flickerman (Jason Schwartzman), host of this years games, can MC the hell out of everything up close and personal! 

What happens at this years Hunger Games and the subsequent consequences to both Corio and Lucy Grey is actually only half the story, and the movie. Coriolanus has always had to be opportunistic, but learning to be absolutely ruthless when necessary under the tutelage of Dr. Gaul, who basically thinks it’s always best to be merciless, is an eye-opening education indeed.  Even after they’ve both been consigned to military service and his friend Sejanus Plinth (Josh Andres Rivera) decides to finally rebel, Corio and Sejanus continue to deceive each other and themselves, to accomplish their separate goals. Not even the love Corio swears he feels for Lucy Grey can save him, or them, from the adamant absolute necessity of the Hunger Games continuing. And after all that’s happened, Coriolanus Snow has gotten a terrific education in the best way to be the absolutely ruthless next Hunger Games advocate, and oh yeah, President of Panem. 

The movie does itself no favors by trying to stuff not one but two major storylines and a bunch of side storylines sadly introduced and then ignored, into the film. It would have been entirely possible to turn Ballads of Songbirds and Snakes into two different movies, separated between feathers and scales if you like, and do justice to the major storylines in both. Blyth gives a fine  performance as a young Coriolanus Snow, but the fact that President Snow is played by Donald Sutherland in all three of the Hunger Games films means Blyth has incredibly large shoes to fill. Rachel Zegler as Lucy Grey is absolute fire, and yes the actress did sing the songs in the film herself, including the Hunger Games franchise epic song, ‘The Hanging Tree’. Every time Lucy Grey opens her mouth and sheer soul-searing music comes out, it provides a distinct counterpoint to the soul-crushing ambition of Coriolanus Snow and further demonstrates the District and Caste separation Hunger Games is known for. And if, by the end of the film, Coriolanus Snow has come to agree that the Hunger Games must continue but perhaps under his own auspices, he has no one but himself to blame when another younger but still rebellious female blows it all up in his face! 

Choose rebellion or conformity for yourself in The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

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