Is ‘Call Me By Your Name’ Really A Romantic Movie?

I would like to start with one of my usual prefaces; this is one of my favourite movies so I am loathe to criticise it. It is also not the type of film I usually gravitate towards (my back catalog on this site will show you as much). Despite thoroughly enjoying the book the film is based on, I have to say the film is better.

Not only is Call Me By Your Name a juggernaut of queer cinema it is also the film where the world fell in love with Timothée Chalamet. It’s hard to imagine it now, but he was an unknown at the time (2017). However, his sincere acting ability, kaleidoscope eyes, and aerodynamic hair won the hearts of many.  Chalamet plays 17-year-old Elio Perlman a young musician. Elio is an extremely talented pianist, well-read, and bilingual. You would really hate him if he wasn’t played with the heart-rending vulnerability Chalamet brings to most of his characters. 

While this cinematic masterpiece earned Chalamet his first Oscar nomination at the tender age of 23, it was the film’s second leading man who was truly surprising. Armie Hammer plays Oliver (no surname) the 24-year-old American graduate assisting Elio’s father, a professor in archaeology, at their holiday home in Lombardy, Northern Italy. This role was before Hammer effectively torched his career with certain accusations which I won’t go into (we literally don’t have the word count). However, at the time Hammer’s portrayal of Oliver proved that he was more than just a cookie-cutter Hollywood handsome hunk.

At the time of the film’s release, there was plenty of discourse about the age difference between the two young men. In both the book and the film there is 7 year age gap between the pair. At certain stages of life, this wouldn’t be a big deal. In fact many argued that in so many romantic films the age difference is somewhat questionable (for example; in Titanic, Rose is 17 and Jack is 20) it only seems to be a problem when the relationship is not heterosexual. Under Italian law at the time of the film being set (1983) Elio and Oliver’s relationship is not illegal, but is it moral?

I have watched the film numerous times but this time I decided to watch it with an eye for Oliver not in fact being a charming foreign student who sweeps young Elio off his espadrilles, but instead being… predatory. 

As stated Elio is 17; Chalamet with his slight figure and elfin features can easily pass for a teenager despite being around 21 at the time of filming. Elio is a prodigy and spends his time reading, transcribing, and composing music. The only child of two academics Elio seems somewhat sheltered. He is doted on by his mum Annella (who is low key goals) and even curls up in his parent’s lap to be read stories while his father refers to him as “Elly-Belly”. A deep thinker Elio is all too well aware of his downfalls. He even states to Oliver that he knows very little about “…the things that matter”. 

In contrast, Oliver is a self-assured student who has essentially traveled across the world to spend the summer with relative strangers. Everyone is beguiled by Oliver’s good looks, Annella even refers to him as a ‘movie star’ and is endeared by his brutish Americanisms. 

It doesn’t help that Hammer was around 30 at the time of filming and between his impressive height at 6 ft 5 and even more impressive body hair, looks every one of his three decades. Elio is not short but is dwarfed in every sense of the word. 

Much like the audience, Elio can’t figure Oliver out. The student switches between friendly and standoffish with alarming frequency. I won’t pretend to know the intricacies of flirting between two men but Elio is extremely unsettled. Particularly during a game of volleyball with Elio’s friends where Oliver attempts to give Elio a shoulder massage because he is ‘tense’. Oliver later tells Elio that this is to show Elio that he ‘liked’ him. On this viewing, I noticed the imprint of Oliver’s fingerprints on Elio’s pale bicep from where he was grabbed. 

Call Me By Your Name is described as a coming-of-age film and Elio does lose his virginity to his girlfriend Marzia during the film. An embarrassing fumble by a lake for their first time after which Elio becomes remarkably more confident for their second. As the audience we can only wonder what brought on this drastic change. Was it knowing he had captured the attention of an older man? His sexual awakening? Suffice it to say Elio is experienced before ever doing anything sexual with Oliver. 

Both the book and film are from Elio’s POV so we can only glean Oliver’s thoughts and motivations from his actions and facial expressions. Oliver barges into Elio’s room whilst knocking where Elio happens to be touching himself. If that’s not enough he tries to make Elio go swimming with him whilst Elio is trying to hide his erection. Was Oliver toying with Elio? In the book, Elio’s anguish over Oliver’s moods is more poignant. Elio even tries to anticipate Oliver’s daily moods by the graduate’s color choice of bathing shorts. Clearly trying to harness any kind of control over the situation, no matter how tenuous.

When Elio finally admits his feelings for the other man Oliver tells him they can’t discuss “such things”. Then shortly after Oliver initiates their first kiss then abruptly tells Elio they need to stop and haven’t yet done anything to be “ashamed of”. 

Oliver also initiates their first sexual encounter. After days of silence, Elio can’t stand it anymore. We get a peak into Elio’s journal where he chastises himself for being ‘too harsh’ towards Oliver and worrying that Oliver hates him. He slips a note under Oliver’s door pleading to talk. Oliver answers in kind with a note left on Elio’s desk telling him to ‘grow up’ and that he’ll meet the young musician at midnight. Is Oliver being facetious by saying ‘grow up’? Or does he genuinely want Elio to age about 5 years before midnight? 

At midnight the two consummate their situation. And Oliver does ask Elio’s permission to kiss him. The next morning Elio appears maudlin. He rises out of Oliver’s bed without meeting the man’s eyes, ignoring inquiries about his well-being from a nervous-looking Oliver. Elio requests they go swimming. Elio looks extremely vulnerable and young in his oversized jumper. None of the confident swagger after his first time with Mariza. Without being too blunt can we ascertain that this is because Elio was the one who penetrated this time?

Oliver handles this situation by telling Elio to check if he can still get “hard”. Whether this is to assuage any notions Oliver might have about Elio regretting the sex, despite asking for verbal confirmation in a later scene that he doesn’t.

As much I love Elio’s parents in the film I do end up questioning their judgement. They know their teenage son is carrying on a clandestine affair with someone they opened their home to. They then encourage Elio to go on a trip with Oliver to Bergamo (a nearby city) for a few days where Oliver will board a train to begin his journey back home to New England. I know Elio’s parents are bohemian academic types and I know it was the 80s when everyone went home when the streetlights came on and drank hose water by the gallon. But they are sending their teenage son away with someone with someone who could be a serial killer!

Oliver and Elio exchange a tearjerking goodbye at the train station and they don’t speak again for a few months until Winter. Over the phone, Oliver tells Elio he is engaged to be married in the Spring. Oliver also has the nerve to ask Elio “Do you mind?”! How is anyone meant to answer that? Let alone a teenager? We do get a slight insight into Oliver’s family when he says that if his father found out about his relationship with Elio he’d send Oliver to a “correctional facility”.

This all culminates to the iconic final scene which probably earned Chalamet his Oscar nomination; Elio crying in front of a roaring fire. 

The cinematography, acting, score, and direction of the film are perfect despite the problematic premise. There are moments that are truly touching moments that make you think that maybe Oliver truly did care for Elio. Or maybe he left a trail of broken-hearted boys and girls across Europe? It is a film to be feasted upon, not unlike the numerous peaches that litter the film’s premise (read into that what you will). I just hope I haven’t ruined it for anyone, or indeed myself!