Here we are, back again in the land of eternal snark and every last cameo you ever laughed at, the movies that put the ‘fie’ back in the SyFy channel, the ridiculous combo of wind and sea and gnashing teeth, sharknado!
So, yes, the previous movie ended with Dolph Lundgren as Fin’s elderly son Gil saving the day, and sending Ian Ziering as Fin back in time Back to the Future style, so he can right past wrongs and save the world from sharknadoes one more time! And here, we’ve landed inevitably in dinosaur times, to endure the running of T-Rexes and riding Pteranadons, because this is obviously where the very first sharknado began, right? Well, not exactly. Time for flying into the time portal, to continue on saving the whole world!
Somehow after dinosaurs we’re in Arthurian-like times, complete with Alaska Thunderf*ck (don’t look at me that way, that’s her drag name) as Morgana la Fay and Neil Degrasse Tyson as Merlin, which makes total sense btw. Fin’s son Gil is of course a Knight of the Round Table and has been waiting for his parental units to show up for some time now, trying to prepare to do battle with the sharknado that’s always coming whenever Fin shows up. Of course Morgana has her own plans, as she always does, which doesn’t prevent her from getting “Byeeeeee!”-d her own damn self when battle with flying sharks begins!
And then we’re off to Colonial Times, because of course Fin and pals would be there right when Paul Revere rides by screaming, “The British are coming!” An inconvenient sharknado is being shadowed by the British, somehow led by Dexter Holland in British drag while ‘Come Out and Pay’ blares in the background, is headed this way and we have to convince, who else, ole Father Washington himself, and oh yeah, Hamilton too. Fan-squee for both historical figures rendered, and its all cannons pointed at the sharknado right now, buddy!
Inevitably next is the Old West and Billy the Kid, because what’s more patriotic than cowboys and guns? Fin gets himself landed in jail, ah-gain, right next to, oh hey, it’s Gil! Shocker. Dee Snider is the town Sheriff of all people, and another previously-believed-dead former castmate pops up to save the day just in the knick of time!
And that’s the real thing I think the majority of Sharknado fans enjoy, what we all tune in and play ridiculous spot-the-celebrity drinking games for, the cameos! Spot what’s-her-nutjob from ‘Dance Moms’ or Rupaul, everybody knows Rupaul, there goes Penn and Teller and the for-reals George R. R. Martin, Gary Busey was April’s dad and that explains a lot, and always and forever, Al Roker, as himself. These people who kept making these awful movies know perfectly well how terrible they are, and don’t skimp on the cheesy effects and oh so delightfully vague plots. Ziering has a bit of a perma-grin, even when Fin is at his deadliest save-the-world serious, as he lifts aloft a version of Excalibur that’s rather like a damn chainsaw!
Plenty of other time jumps and battles pop up, but we don’t need to spoil every last one of them. No time travel movie, sharknado or not, would be complete without the everything-is-as-it-should-be mega-happy ending, and Fin even gets to raise a glass with his entire extended family and all the friends he’s made in his sharknado-hunting travels. You too should raise a glass, make sure it’s full of alcohol for those ridiculous sharknado drinking games, to the end of a glorious run of flying shark movies in the best vein of eye-rolling so-bad-they’re-good SyFy movie tradition!