‘Ash vs. Evil Dead’ Season 3, Ep 9 ‘Judgment Day’: “I’m Ashy-Slashy’s daughter!”

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Aw come on y’all, really? The world is apparently coming to an end here in the nowhere town of Elk Grove, just like it did more than a decade ago in a cabin in the woods, where a bunch of ill-informed people decided to read from a very nasty book and unleash some even nastier demons and death upon the world!

And there is seriously no time to dilly-dally, because Ruby just carved the skin off of Zoe’s back, just filleted her like a fish already, and is writing on it in blood, to make a replacement page for Necronomicon. Which kind of makes sense in that totally messed up way that is the Ash vs. Evil Dead world. But immediately after that, Knight of Sumeria Zoe has outlived her usefulness, and when she tries to make her escape it’s rather painfully and blindingly thwarted.

No one likes a spy, and as you can imagine, a good deal of this magic nonsense is still new to him, so when Pablo begins getting a literal eyeful from the Necronomicon, while knowing what’s going on can only be a good thing, that shit still sucks. Off goes Pablo to the rift in Pops’ basement, to find out what in the literal hell is is going on!

There’s something deeply nostalgic and adorkable about seeing our Ashy Slashy hand his beloved Boom-stick to his heretofore-unknown daughter, telling her with pride what it is and the glorious legends behind the Remington. But, even giving her the Boom-stick for protection and telling her to stay right there, isn’t likely to be enough as the town’s about to be overrun!

 

That’s right folks, Ruby has screwed everything all kinds of sideways, and Dark Ones are now coming out of the rift, missing Pablo by mere hairbreadths, which is odd, but whatever. Time to go wreak havoc on Elk Grove, along with the deadites that have begun attacking the Elk Lounge Bar, and this mega supernatural storm gathering outside!

Meanwhile elsewhere, poor Brandy is having the same bloody troubles her dad originally did with the screaming deadites, that go terrorizing through the night after her just like they did her father, so long ago. And when Brandy’s cellphone gets itself haunted by a deadite and her thumb gleefully bitten, the reference to deadites having a penchant for Williams family body parts is hilarious. Brandy manages to prove that she’s Ashy-Slashy’s daughter, damnit, and hurries off with Pablo to hopefully put an end to this mess!

It has to be said, that we should all have a memorial for Ash’s beloved specialized chainsaw. What Ruby did to that sweet machine, what she’s been trying to do to Ash and all his compatriots all this third season, oh she deserves what’s coming to her, right now as a matter of fact. The Dark Ones are here, and oh, are they livid with Ruby, and Kaya for that matter. That takes care of Kaya quite neatly, and Ruby in all her misguided glory, but the Dark Ones from the Deadlands are still here, and free, and we’re all pretty screwed. Again.

Ash may have grabbed Kelly’s body and the Necronomicon and skedaddled, but supernatural shadows have been gathering in the streets as the result of the storm, and the Dark Ones’ purpose seems to be to open the biggest rift they can and let in the worst things imaginable from the Deadlands! Even our hero Ash, surrounded by whats left of the Ghostbeaters, the Knights of Sumeria and his own family, looks way way up at the giant deadite tearing through that hole, can only stare and say, ‘Oh shit.’

Tune in to Starz next for the final episode of Ash vs. Evil Dead!